Without getting into too much of the Psychology involved, I’m sure many people have to shake their heads at news stories and comments on Social Media. “What were they thinking” when they wrote that? or was conscious thought even used in writing that piece? I’m sure for many people their is an aspect of Intellectual Superiority that comes into play, when someone writes something you disagree with, you might feel morally or intellectually superior because they wrote a very one-sided or dishonest piece and left out the other side of the story.
Judges will tell you that there are 2 sides to every story and the truth often lies somewhere in the middle, but usually, this only applies where both sides are honest and believe they are right. My particular interest is in the topic of Child “Protection”, and I will cover this from that perspective.
This mornings “Head-Shaker” is from the Washington Post, which I often shake my head at for its outright hypocrisy on many issues.
The American Academy of Pediatrics, the American College of Physicians and the American Psychiatric Association have all issued statements against it — representing more than 250,000 doctors in the United States. Nearly 7,700 mental-health professionals and 142 organizations have also signed a petition urging President Trump to end the policy.
The Anti-Trump Brigade is launching a campaign against the policy of separating children at the USA border. They have a well-reasoned argument and cite scientific evidence of why this is bad for children. I agree completely, separating children from their parents creates a wound so deep that we have no way of measuring it and have little interest in scientific studies which may prevent or minimize this trauma to children and their parents.
I find the utter Hypocrisy of the American Academy of Pediatrians to be beyond belief in this case. What were they thinking, or were they even thinking? Thousands of children are separated at the border, but have they even considered the millions separated by Child “Protective” Services from their parents?
When you consider the many, many children removed from their parents on the suspicions of Pediatricians and Doctors, children who end up severely medicated, suffering PTSD, dying in “Care”, having poor Life Outcomes from “Care”, ending up homeless, in prison, raped, pregnant, neglected, abused, and left to fend for themselves at age 18, where are the condemnations, the petitions and scholarly articles from the American College of Pediatricians?
Many of the children removed at the border are victims of Child Trafficking, but many more children are trafficked from the “Care” System. To protect children from Human Traffickers, it is necessary in most cases to remove the children until DNA tests prove the people smuggling children into the USA are their parents. Its unfortunate but necessary. 60% of all children trafficked are from Foster “Care”.
The people bring children thousands of miles to smuggle the children into the USA are breaking the law. Asylum or Refugee status can be applied for without dragging a child thousands of miles from their home, often without any money or security for these children. Many children have died on the journey. By comparison, the parents of children removed and placed in “Care” are rarely charged with Child Abuse or Neglect and have no criminal record. In the USA, many children are removed to “Care” while their parents are incarcerated. Why pick one group of children and forget about the another?
On another post, I asked; “Why is Child Abuse Sometimes Acceptable?” The hypocrisy in this case of the Israeli/”Palestinian” conflict is even more disturbing. I will leave it up to readers to decide to read it.
Every day, children die around the world in conflicts, but there is little coverage. It would seem that to many, their concern is for White children dying, but there are always exceptions. In much the same way, an Israeli child dying in a terrorist attack won’t receive attention, but when a Palestinian child dies attempting a stabbing, the event will receive full media coverage. The epitome of hypocrisy to me is that children are being used as a means to spread hate against President Trump, just as Palestinian children are used as fodder to spread hate against Jews and Israel. President Obama instituted these camps but no condemnation?
Children should not be political pawns, especially by an organization that purports to speak for children, but forgets to speak about the children in Foster “Care”.
I have never for one minute, believed that Foster Carers are anything other that good people with the best of intentions. Over the years I have helped many people fight against Social Services for children in their care, whether Parents or Foster Carers. I have also helped many Care Alumni for years. In general, I can’t say anything bad about Foster Carers. I’ve met a few bad ones, but that is to be expected in any group.
I can, however, say very bad things about Foster “Care”, and have done so for years.I also wish for people to note that there should be no stigma attached to children who have suffered “Care”. The children cannot be responsible for the unfortunate circumstances they had no control over.
The Best of Intentions don’t translate very well into the Best Outcomes for Children. If a child is removed from parents on the basis of “Future Risk of Emotional Abuse”, that the child will have a poor Outcome in Life with their parents, then there must be an absolute expectation that the child will have a far more positive Outcome, given they were removed with the purpose of having a better life in “Care”. The problem is that children have far worse outcomes as a direct result of “Care” in 80% of cases. The following is from the UK DfE.
The scientific evidence that “Care” is bad for children is very compelling.
Even Social Workers themselves view “Care” Alumni as a greater risk to their own children and a study found that any girl who spent any significant amount of time in “Care” is 66 times more likely to have her child removed and placed in “Care”. An Irish Judge termed this “Inter-generational Recidivism” when removing a child from a mother, a mother that he himself had removed from her mother. Girls in “Care” are twice as likely to become pregnant.
A study from 2000 showed that most of the homeless youth on the streets in Ireland came from the “Care” System. Many of these children are dumped on the streets by their Foster Carers who receive €340 per week, per child, or Residential Care Facilities who receive €5,000 per week, per child. The State has no obligation to adults, many of whom have not even completed school at the time of their “Emancipation”.
At €5,000 per week, per child, the quality of “Care” should be to such a standard that parents are begging to get their child taken into the system, instead, children are begging to go home to their parents.
Make no mistake about it, when social workers show up at your home, the child they are bringing has just been dragged kicking and screaming from their parents. They only thing they want is to go home. Either that or the unfortunate child was taken from another Foster Carer and it’s not unusual for a child to have 20 placements, all of which have failed.
If you set out tomorrow to design a system to systematically harm children, you couldn’t do any better than the current model of “Care”. Yes, Foster Carers are nice people with the best intentions, but “Best Intentions” don’t translate very well into “Best Outcomes”. I have often said that for €5,000 per week, the child I would look after would graduate from Harvard or Oxford, this is an obscene amount of money, but bear in mind, that these Private companies used to be paid €8,500 per week, per child, for what one operator described as a “Babysitting Service”. I would probably have enough money left to pay for the child’s wedding and buy them a house.
Yes, there are some children in absolute need of protection, but Foster “Care” does not come up to the standard required to meet the needs of these children, it’s simply not good enough. I would also have grave concerns about Social Workers trying to determine which children are in need of protection, the vast majority of children are in “Care” on the basis of Future Risk of Emotional Abuse, the theory that they “may” have a poor outcome in life, and then guaranteed a dismal outcome by being placed in “Care”.
I had a conversation one day with a Foster Carer. She told me that the parents of “Her” children were absolute monsters. They had allegedly done things to these children that I cannot mention here. She was complaining that it was her duty to bring the children to the parents every week for “Contact”, a task she hated. I asked her where she got this information from, bearing in mind that it would be illegal for the Social Worker to share with her any details of how these children came to be in “Care”. Her only source was her social worker, who made it seem to her that she was doing a heroic act saving these children from bad parents. I then asked her why these parents were not in prison if they had done a fraction of what they were accused of? Months later “Her” children were returned to their parents. I heard she gave up Fostering.
Prepare to be lied to. When you ask for help for the child you care for, it will not be forthcoming. My colleagues and I have been contacted by Foster Carers in the past for help. Although they desperately want to avail of services, none are available. Foster Carers are not Psychologists and poorly equipped and supported to meet the needs of many of these children. This is the primary reason Foster “Care” doesn’t work. Children are suffering grief from the “Living Bereavement” of their parents. They suffer PTSD, which I have personally witnessed in many children, many of whom are now adults.
In one case where 2 children were kidnapped by the Irish Child and Family Agency, I witnessed the PTSD first-hand. I use the term “Kidnapped”, as this is the very term used by a Supreme Court Judge to describe the case. One child was 6 months when kidnapped and returned 8 months later. For 2 years after, he suffered nightmares and would wake up screaming almost every night. It wasn’t until he was 3 years old that he could verbalize his experience. He said that “1 mommy had no boobies”. He was being breastfed up to the kidnapping and not weaned off the breast. He was afraid that the mommy with “no boobies” would take him away. It was later discovered in therapy that his 6-year-old brother tried to commit suicide while in “Care” but didn’t know how to. I’m sure the Foster Carer provided excellent care to these children and did her best, but no Foster Carer is trained or equipped to give the children the help they need.
The children were returned 8 months after the kidnapping when the entire case had been re-heard by a new Judge despite the CFA requesting a Full Care Order. The parents successfully sued the State and won despite the State spending over a million to prevent Justice. The case is not published so the public will never know the full truth of what happened to this family. In fact, none of these cases are published and the true story of what is actually happening to children is not known, except for a few stories and pages such as this. We occasionally see the mask slipping on what passes for Child “Protection” but the Public has no knowledge of how damaging this system, and Foster “Care” is to children.
For 11 years now I have been speaking and writing about this. I am gagged as to what I can tell you. Unlike many proponents of this system, I have been in the Secret Courts, I know the people involved, the parents and their children, many of whom are now being raised by their parents due to the efforts of my colleagues. I wrote a book on the topic. I cannot stress deeply enough, how bad “Care” is for children and if you reviewed the evidence I have provided above, I cannot see how anyone would want to be a party to destroying the lives of children even if it is done with the best of intentions.
I will leave you with one final thought. Last week, a child died in Irish State “Care”, another is due to die next week.
I wrote extensively about Child Sexual Abuse in the book in a chapter entitled; “The Dreadophile“. Almost everything people believe about the topic is nonsense. Since the late 1970’s, an industry sprung up around Child Sexual Abuse. Previous to this, many cases of abuse were hidden and not reported. A culture of cover-up existed and many cases were only brought to court when the victims grew up. Even today, too many of the cases are adults reporting “Historic” cases. This is a major System Failure.
Sex Education is important. With proper education at the right time, education could eliminate much of the sexual abuse of children. This is the crux of my argument, When is it the Right Time to give Sex Education to Children?
For years we have been listening to “Experts”. Governments have made many laws for the Protection of Children, often driven by Moral Panics and Hysteria from Children’s NGO’s who wildly exaggerate the extent of the problem to make more money, but which does nothing to protect children. No folks, there are not millions of “Pedophiles” waiting outside schools to prey on your children, most of the abuse occurs in the home because Parents are being misled, and Children are being mislead that the world is a very dangerous place, when statistically, the numbers tell a completely different story.
The USA brought in Federal Legislation known as the Adam Walsh Act. This requires that anyone accused of a Sex Crime against Children is listed on a Sex Offender Register. Many States have online photos of the alleged perpetrators, some as young as 4 years old. A right-thinking person would be asking how a 4 year old could be a Registered Sex Offender? One child nuzzled the breasts of his Kindergarten Teacher, who under Mandatory Reporting Law, was obligated to report the incident to Police, who were under legal obligation to place the child, too young to be charged with a crime, on the Sex Offenders Register. This is a Systems Failure.
I have often asked the question when the topic of Child Sexualization comes up; “Other than sexually abusing a child, how can a child who has not reached the Age of Puberty, be “Sexualized“? The answer of course is you cant, as children below puberty have no concept of such things and find the topic distasteful. Children of course are curious about their bodies, and the differences between male and female, but these are questions of Biology, an entirely different subject. We have let these silly terms slip into our vocabulary without questioning them.
An astonishing fact I came accross while researching the topic is that 80% of all sexual assault of children is carried out by 14 year olds in the USA, 70% of whom are boys. I have no reason to believe Europe is any different, however, Europeans don’t list the crimes of children and statistics are hard to find, if they exist at all. These are old statistics from the Department of Justice, but nevertheless, they tell a story that the “Experts” and NGO’s have been misleading us all along. The following graph should send shivers up the back of every parent, and cause the “Experts” and NGO’s to hang their heads in shame.
Which brings me back to the crux of my argument, when is the right time to give Sex Education to Children?
Sex Education is often taught to students at a certain level or grade. Some children in exceptional circumstances enter Puberty at age 8, but some as late as 16. The majority reach puberty at 14. The majority of Child Sex Abusers are 14 year olds, not the dirty-old-men in raincoats myth we have been fed. Not that it matters to the abused child the age of the offender. In the adult range, the vast majority of those conviced are aged 28, and this statistic is true accross the board in many countries statistics.
Many of the laws introduced were hysterical reactions to horrible abuse that occurred. We have Sarahs Law and many other laws named after children like Adam Walsh. Much of the legislation has hastily introduced by politicians with good intentions, however, were poorly thought out and implemented. Many children fall victim to these laws, like the Kindergartner 5 year old who cant attend birthday parties, visit Disneyland or play at the local playground because he is a Registered Sex Offender.
We should educate children about Sex, absolutely, but the time to do this is when the child finally reaches Puberty, not before, not after. At Puberty, most children have weak Impulse Control, this is why most abusers, and they are abusers, are also struggling with puberty. The best description I ever heard was like handing a child a Ferrari and giving them the keys, and saying; “It’s parked in the driveway, but you cant drive it until you’re 16” or whatever age the government deems fit with Consent Laws.
Teaching children below the Age of Puberty is in my opinion, Child Abuse. We give children a gift of Innocence that they are born with. As they struggle to learn to live in a world they are too young to understand, we indulge them with the Tooth Fairy, and Santa Claus and stories that always have happy endings. You cant take a child to a movie which shows sex scenes or violent contents, but some “Experts” think it’s OK to teach 5 years olds how to masturbate? Bear in mind these are the same “Experts” who know, or at least should know, that most Child Sexual Abusers are 14 year old, often an older brother or cousin or neighbour, but would have you believe in myths and fairytales that defame innocent people.
Has anyone stopped to ask how a 5 year old benefits from knowing the mechanisms of sexual coitis? Why the sudden urgency to teach children a topic they will never begin to understand until Puberty?
No 5 year old is going to rape another 5 year old, but it is likely at that age they will be curious about Biology, which has nothing to do with sex. So why would we want to teach a 5 year old how to have sex?
I believe we have been doing Puberty wrong all these years. Many cultures have Rights of Passage at Puberty, but few have any real value in terms of helping a horny 14 year old curb their “Enthusiasm” and use their Impulse Control. It’s time we addressed this, without the “Experts” and Schools, and Politicians. The problem then being that if a parent educated a pubescent child, say for example with materials that they want to teach to 5 year old, but more explicit and to the level of understanding of a 14 year old, such materials would illegal under Child Protection Laws, and the parent could also be jailed under such laws.
The USA is a prime example of how such laws should never have been implemented, the laws harm many children. I would not let off Europe or Ireland either, our laws are not benefitting children either. It should fall upon parents to educate their child at puberty, but it would be a very brave parent who would risk jail or having their child removed to “Care”, by teaching them about sexual relations, even if such educational materials were available. Schools teach according to Levels and Grades, but some children in those classes may not have reached Puberty, and for some it might be too late.
Parents are usually always there for their children in times of crisis, but we have overlooked Puberty or minimized it’s importance, or just not bothered to help children in their time of need, and governments are not helping by introducing hysterical laws proposed by “Experts”.
My thoughts on Gender Ideology leaves me with more questions than answers. I need to distinguish here between Sex and Gender, which of course are separate subjects. I have always been of the belief that two people who love each other should have equal rights to do so whatever in the privacy of their home whether their love interest is a member of the same sex or opposite. Love is Love. The State has no business standing at the foot of a persons bed and dictating what they can and cannot do if nobody is harmed in the process. I also don’t believe the State has any business teaching pre-pubescent children any more than the notion that it’s OK for two people to love each other, without the gory details.
We are currently seeing the normalization of the notion that there are hundreds of Genders and that children are free to choose whatever dystopian nightmare they want, simply by “Self-Identifying” as an imaginary creature. Worse, the notion that a child can be given Sex Reassignment Surgery or Puberty Blockers when they are far too young to decide such life-altering decisions. We don’t allow children to choose their food, bedtime or whether they can take a day off school, why would we allow them to decide to have their penis constructed into a vagina? And what if they change their mind? I cant believe that we, as a country, would find it exceptable to chemically castrate a 7 year old boy, but make spanking illegal?
If there are more than two genders, why is it that Plastic Surgeons only offer two choices of Genders?
The reality is that Gender Dysmorphia is an extremely rare Mental Condition. A minuscule number of children are affected by this. While I applaud Government efforts to integrate those affected by Mental Illness into Society, I have to ask why a 5 year old needs to know about such matters?
I do not believe any parent should have the right to re-assign a child’s Gender, especially a child who has not reached Puberty. I believe any Surgeon who mutilates a child’s body, especially a pre-pubescent child, should be jailed for Child Abuse. The American College of Pediatricians are of the opinion that Gender Ideology for Children is Child Abuse. They have issued a statement to this effect.
For years, some boys have dressed as girls and some girls dressed as boys, and few people have any issues with this. Being honest with ourselves, we rarely see such people affected by this, and most people tend to mind their own business. If it’s not our business, why is it the business of pre-pubescent children? How does a child benefit from knowing about such matters? If a child asks a parent; “why is that man dressed as a lady?” a parent can give an answer to the level of understanding of the child, who is expressing nothing more than curiousity, bearing in mind that it’s a child’s job to ask questions. Why does an 8 year old need to know about Masterbation if they have not reached Puberty?
As we have seen earlier, when Governments interfere in the domain of the Family, they usually get it wrong. They get it wrong because they consult “Experts” who are selling “Flavour-of-the-month” ideologies and listen to Vested Interest NGO’s who depend on hyping up the hysteria for their financial survival.
Don’t even get me started on “women with penises” competing in Female Sports.
A pattern I hope that people have seen in the book, is that the further we stray from Nature and eons of Human Evolution, the worse Society becomes. Governments need to stop listening to Sociologists and listen instead to Statisticians, Engineers and Mathematicians who have a proven record of Excellence, while 70 years of Sociology has no History of Excellence. The “Number Crunchers” have a lot to offer and if we cant see the problems from the fist graph, we have no hope of solving the issue of Child Sexual Abuse, which in my opinion, is a far more serious problem than teaching 5 year olds about Sex and Gender. We have an opportunity here to eliminate Child Sexual Abuse in many cases by teaching Sex Education at the right time and prevent children from becoming abusers. Lets not waste it.
Nature designed the perfect Child Protection System when it designed the Family. Children are not autonomous beings and need constant direction and supervision from their parents, both parents. Interference in the Family Unit has made the job of parents more difficult. Perhaps its time to make laws more supportive of parents?
I was asked to be a guest speaker at a conference recently. My usual “Go-To” response is to refuse. For years I have been invited to speak, and have spoken many times, but I found most of these events a waste of time for all concerned. While I was considering the invitation, I thought I would talk about what works and what doesn’t work. Anyone could give the speech many want to hear, and receive great applause, but it would be a pointless excersize. Before I wrote the book I talked to many people and the best advice I received was this.
“Preaching to the Converted is a waste of time. You need to walk into a Church, announce to the Congregation that there is no God, and have them believe you. Otherwise don’t waste your time, and theirs“.
Of course this is an onerous task, if not impossible, but the speaker must have conviction and credibility. The best way to do this is to propose Solutions rather than Problems. I had intended to propose strategies that have worked in the past, but it became clear that I was dealing with people who spoke out of pain and anger who would probably do more harm than good.
Why Public Protests accomplish very litttle.
A few years ago a small group protested outside the head office of Child Protective Services in Ireland. Unfortunately, nobody thought to bring banners, posters or leaflets, but I applaud their efforts. When I pointed this out, I was attacked for mentioning it. I believe if you are going to do something, get it right the first time. Fortunately, one lady listened and took a can of paint and some scrap plastic and turned them into about 20 signs. I wrote a pamphlet and made it available for download, and by the next protest, anyone passing-by could clearly see why people were congregating outside government buildings. All of the blue signs in the image below were created by one lady. This is the difference between a Meeting and a Protest.
In the case of Ireland, most of the protests were outside the Head Office of Ireland’s Child “Protection” Service, which in my opinion, is a futile exercise. 1/ Because the people working in Head Office have no idea of what happens in any case due to the In Camera Rule, which prevents them from knowing. 2/ The people working there do not manage the law or any case. It would be far better to protest outside the Dail or the Department for Children and Youth Affairs, as politicians tend to be opportunistic and jump at “Causes” if the participants are clearly organized and can offer solutions instead of problems. 3/ High Traffic areas give access to more people.
I carried one of these posters myself during a large protest in Dublin, and to my surprise, I was threathend with violence by the then CEO of Ireland’s Child Protective Services in front of 3 witness, whom I offered to debate, but his solution was to take me up a back alley and “beat the crap out of me”. I don’t think I need say any further about the value of Posters, Banners and Pamphlets.
in 2010 I was one of about 30 protesters who protested outside the Dail, the Irish Parliament, demanding an investigation into the deaths of children in Irish State “Care”. The event was (well) organized by the aunts of Danny Talbot and the McAnaspie family who had died in “Care”, both in horrific circumstances. People, even children, would congregate, a car would pull up loaded with banners and people would engage politicians entering or leaving. After a year, one politician took notice and spoke to the families. As a Deputy, he did a fine job of promoting our cause and after, the leaders of the group were summoned by the Minister for Children, who also had concerns, but had little knowledge of how corrupt and disfunctional the agency he was responsible for was. For the sake of brevity I wont go into the full story.
In the end, the government commissioned a report into the deaths of 260 children who had died in “Care” and a supposedly independent report investigated 196 of those deaths of children. The report did not find a single Social Worker responsible for a single death of a single child, even though there was clear evidence that many of those children and their parents were ignored by social workers. Had any of those children been in the care of their parents, without a doubt, their parents would have been held accountable.
In the end, our protest accomplished its goal. The protest concentrated on one issue only, whereas other recents protests don’t seem to have any stated purpose and are too generalized to be of use. Pick one topic and recite it like a broken record until someone takes notice. A few weeks ago a friend who runs a Fathers Rights Group on Facebook send me an image.
A simple banner with 5 words: “Parental Alienation is Child Abuse”.
Someone took it upon themselves to purchase this banner and attached it to a motorway bridge. I believe the daily traffic on the motorway is over a hundred thousand. Most people are not aware of Parental Alienation, however, everyone is aware of Child Abuse. Everyone is also opposed to children being abused, so these 5 simple words attract attention. A few days after, the Admin of the page sent me another message that in the space of a few days, the image had received over 16,000 views on Facebook.
Again, this is a brilliant example of how one person can make a huge impact. Like the woman who made 20 posters and brings them to protests around the country, anyone can contribute with a little effort. In the past, my colleagues have posted videos which were published on my Facebook page Alliance of Parents Against the State, which have had more than 50,000 hits.
This brings me back to “Preaching to the Converted”. The majority of people believe that Social Services, Adoption, Removal of Children are all wonderful ideas and support their efforts. Due to the secrecy involved, only a tiny minority know the truth. The message, however, is getting out there. Social Services in many countries are having great difficulty recuiting and retaining staff. Less people want to get involved in Fostering these days because after years of trying, people are starting to see that Child “Protection” is more akin to Child Abuse, and I would attribute that to the many people, like the people who made banners above, for changing peoples minds, more than I would to people in closed groups on Facebook. Don’t waste time preaching to the converted, you need to convince people who know nothing of the topic. Start with your friends and family, talk to your co-workers and try to reach people who know nothing about the topic. When you state that children are being abused, people tend to take notice.
A recent development in Irish Courts will soon have a dramatic impact on Irish Social Services. It’s worthy of mention that no Facebook group or post had any impact on this decision. It was hard-fought for 10 years by a father whose children were kidnapped by Irish Social Services and won in the courts. Three years ago the Supreme Court decided that crimes committed “In Camera” could be investigated by Irish Police. The decision was not published however, which makes a mockery of the belief that “Justice should be seen to be done”. The Irish State fought against this for 3 years. I attended court with the father and every 2 months the State would ask for delays, a common tactic.
We did in fact get a Police investigation started but it was quickly stopped on orders from further up. The father then received threats, one in the form of an email which originated from a Police Station, oddly enough, where one of the persons being investigated works.
In the past, my colleagues and I have subjected to abuse and threats, but since we have broken no laws, we fear nothing. Lawyers for Irish Social Services had a meeting and discused how they were going to “put us out of business”, presumably because of the number of children we have had returned from “Care” or the many times we prevented children being taken. These days, my colleagues and I would not be allowed into Case Conferences, even though we have had a positive impact in many cases.
I have always told people that for every reaction there is a counter-reaction. When you stick your head above the parapet, expect it to be shot off. Social workers use Social Media as a source of “Evidence” against parents, and often punish the child by restricting court-ordered visits as a means to punish the parent, even though the child suffers in the process. You are damaging your case against Social Services by posting negative material. More recently, I have seen parents going to jail for speaking out. While I admire their courage and self-sacrifice, I have to question how their child benefits from their “Martyrdom” and incarceration?
I have always said, put the child first in all your arguments, Children First”. I completely understand when people speak out of pain and anger. I would say to “Advocates”, be supportive of people in pain, but the ultimate goal should always be getting the child home. I have spoken for years about how Fathers should not say; “I cant see my Child”. This hasn’t worked in decades despite the many suicides of men, the misery, the horror stories of injustice to fathers, they are no further ahead today, but there is cause for hope. I have said instead you should be saying: “My childs Human Rights are being abused”, and only then will people take notice. I feel sorry for the men affected by Parental Alienation, but I have to be honest and say I feel worse for the children who are denied a father and suffer life-long consequences as a result. The 5 simple words: “Parental Alienation is Child Abuse” will do more for the rights of Fathers than anything else that has been tried in the past. I urge all Fathers affected to get behind the growing Parental Alienation Awareness Movements, which is spreading in popularity. Can you image the impact it would have if every father affected made a banner and posted it in a conspicious place?
Historically, what works best in terms of Reform and Positive Change, is Lobbying. Some of the most egregious legislation ever imposed on a population was the direct result of Lobbying. Large Corporations have managed to wield enormous power over citizens, and this is accomplished by Lobbyists. It’s hard to believe, but the US Congress passed legislation which prevents courts taking legal action against a large company.
Individuals can lobby their local politicians or Government Ministers simply by writing emails, starting petitions, or meeting them directly and expressing their concerns. In my case, I have written to many politicians and sent them copies of my book. When they don’t respond, you can take it as a given that they will not be of help, but when enough people contact them they take notice. I am fortunate enough to have a few politicians who will listen and who have helped me out on issues in the past. Being nice works best.
Words can Heal or Harm, choose your words carefully. The first victim is often the person writing. You will harm your own credibily by attacking people instead of their arguments. Ad Hominen attacks and “making it personal” are among the worst mistakes, attack the idea, not the person. Social Workers often scroll through a persons Public Profile, and will use it against you as “Evidence” in court, contrary to Data Protection Laws. Denigrating others says more about you than the person you are attacking. “What you say can be used in evidence against you”.
I am reminded of how the Mahatma Gandhi once said:
“First, they ignore you.
Then they ridicule you.
Then they debate you.
Then you win.”
If your first move is to attack people, you are giving people a chance to ignore you. Instead, ask a question. If they ridicule you, don’t attack or make it personal. Ask a question and keep pushing for an answer. Let them attack, it says more about them if you are respectful of others.
Never say or write anything out of pain and anger. You’re not likely to change anyones mind and will come off as a person with an axe to grind. Focus on facts and try to be the better person, you will have more credibility. A useful guide is below:
If you cant meet this criteria, it’s best to stay quiet. It was once said:
“Better to keep quiet and have people think you are a fool, than to open your mouth and eliminate all doubt.”
Posts on Facebook are not going to change the world, although planting seeds of doubt in what passes for Child “Protection” is having an impact on the system. The danger of many advocates or advocacy groups is that they do more harm to the cause of reforming Child “Protection”. They drown out more sane voices. I find the most credible people are the ones who don”t have an axe to grind, and are not victims of the system.
Other than connecting people, which is extremely helpful, the only other useful purpose Facebook groups serve is to post news stories on the dysfunctional system. I have observed a lot of in-fighting in these groups over the years, and I have seen the groups come and go. What I have not seen is any useful changes in the law. I have not seen children returned to their families because of posts.
What has worked very well over the years is a small group of determined people, whom I wont name here. We worked calmly and quietly and most people wouldn’t recognize us on the street. Judges of course know who we are, some even like us because we come to court prepared and don’t waste their time. We are not being paid for our time so we don’t like delays.
The worst nightmare for the Child “Protection” System is the oxygen of publicity. If the Irish Public ever learn what has been done in their name to many thousands of children, the system would change over-night. While many call for Tusla to be scrapped, this is an impractical solution. There are children in Ireland in dire need of protection, however, I would have no confidence in Social Workers trying to determine which children, and even less in their ability to “Care” for children. The system is not going to change overnight, and it certainly wont change because of Facebook groups, some of whom do more harm than good. CPS Agencies likeTusla has nothing to fear and everything to gain from people with axes to grind who are speaking out of pain and anger.
Please, just stop attacking each other and come up with positive solutions. The best way to fight the system is to play their game by their rules and you will eventually beat them. If you have nothing positive to contribute, please don’t get in the way of mature, experienced people who already have a history of success.
At the time of writing, Twitter and Facebook in Ireland are in meltdown over a story of a Police Sergeant who was wrongly accused of sexual abuse of children, including his own. I’m sure people in Ireland are very familiar with the case of Sgt. Maurice McCabe, but I will tell the story for people who know nothing about the case as there are readers of this page all over the world.
The case is a prime example of how Child Protective Services have become the ultimate weapon to destroy people. There is no more serious allegation than to be accused of sexually assaulting a child.
Sgt McCabe was a whistleblower who raised concern within the Irish Police Force, An Garda Síochána, about Penalty Points and Speeding Tickets being wiped off the system and canceled by senior members of the Force. It is interesting to note, that out of nearly 16,000 Police Officers in Ireland, that only 2 members spoke out against this practice.
Ireland is a corrupt country and the most corrupt organization in Ireland is our Child “Protection” Service, the Child & Family Agency known as Tusla. The extent of the corruption cannot even be made public, because, under the law, a person could be jailed for saying “Anything to Anyone” of what occurred in a Secret Court. While this singular case has raised the ire of many people, the Irish Public have absolutely no idea of how corrupt the CFA has become.
The gist of what happened Sgt McCabe, is that as his whistleblowing occurred, he was increasingly put under more pressure and was being targeted for his whistleblowing activity by senior members of the force. Allegations of sexually assault of a daughter of one of his colleagues, whom Sgt McCabe had accused earlier, emerged but were found to be without foundation. Later, the Commissioner and the Press Officer “Leaked” information of the alleged sexual assault to discredit Sgt McCabe.
Later on, Sgt McCabe was contacted by a social worker from Tusla who had “concerns” for his 5 children. At this point, the Sergeant had spent years being targeted for his whistleblowing, but this was by far the most underhanded accusation yet, that he may have assaulted his own children. The earlier accusation of brushing against a 6 year old girl, was “Upgraded” to Rape, Penetration both vaginal and anal.
The matter was investigated and was supposedly put down as a series of “Cut & Paste” errors, however, some important questions were never asked at the Charleton Tribunal, which was convened to look at the whole case of Sgt McCabe.
It appears that the information on the family’s file was on record for 2 1/2 years before a social worker ever investigated. It also appears that the “Upgraded” accusations were never investigated or were never even reported to Police. This was a crime under the law.
As someone who is very familiar with the modus operandi of the Child and Family Agency, I find the sequence of events very unusual. It is not unusual for the CFA to withhold evidence in child sexual abuse cases, this matter has been raised many times. Once Police are investigating the sexual abuse of a child, the CFA must back down and not interfere with the investigation. It is also interesting to note that to not report a case of child sexual abuse to Police is a crime, and social workers are not exempt. Despite this, I have never heard of a social worker being prosecuted.
Social workers have no statutory power to investigate crimes. Crime is the domain of the Police to investigate, the Prosecution Service to prosecute and a Criminal Judge or Jury to decide on guilt. The first chapter of my book: “I can’t get my head around this”, explains the process very well. If you are accused of abusing or neglecting a child there will be 2 separate investigations by 2 separate bodies, but while Police use the Criminal route of the Criminal Courts, Family Law is heard as Private Law under a much lower Burden of Proof.
What is also very strange, is why Sgt McCabe’s children were not removed from his and his wife’s care immediately? Even if I accepted the excuse that nobody looked at the file for 2 years, which I don’t, it should have prompted a Police Investigation and a CFA taking the case to a District Court and asking the Judge for an Emergency Care Order, 99% of ECO’s are granted immediately. There was no attempt to take this to court and protect the children.
Essentially, we are asked to believe that a series of “Errors”, none of which favored Sgt McCabe, were made at a time when his credibility rested on him being an upstanding member of society. The sexual assault came from the daughter of a colleague he had accused. The sexual assault file came to light 2 1/2 years after it was recorded on his file, at a time when his credibility meant everything to his whistleblowing.
I’m pretty sure that a Stand-Up Comic could recite my last paragraph and it would be met with howls of laughter, many amateur comics have laughed on Social Media, but I’m not laughing.
I’m not laughing because I know of suicides of people who have been wrongly accused. I’m not laughing because I know the pain of children who have been wrongly removed from their siblings and parent by an incompetent organization. All it takes is a “Cut & Paste Error” and your life will be destroyed, as well as your children’s lives.
What Sgt Maurice McCabe accomplished is nothing short of remarkable. 2 Ministers for Justice, 1 of whom was Assistant Prime Minister (Tainiste), 2 Police Commissioners, a Superintendent Press Officer and others “Resigned” as their positions became untenable. The CEO of the Child and Family Agency also “Resigned”. At least €30 million was spent on 2 Tribunals of Inquiry, and the “Last Man Standing” with any credibility or integrity was Sergeant Maurice McCabe and his wife Lorraine.
In a weeks time the whole fiasco will be forgotten about on Social Media and the Publics attention will be directed elsewhere. Also in a weeks time a few more people will also have been falsely accused of sexually abusing children, but you will never hear of these cases. The falsely accused will be gagged in a court of law and forbidden to publicly protest their innocence. Nothing will change because of this fiasco because historically, nothing has changed since previous fiascos.
What needs to happen at this point is Prosecutions. It is both a crime to make a false report of Child Sexual Abuse, it is also a crime to not report a crime to Police.
Every year in Ireland the Child and Family Agency claim that there are 550 “Confirmed” cases of sexual abuse of children. ‘Every year the Director of Public Prosecutions only prosecute about 40 cases a year, and most of those cases are brought forward by adults, and not by the Child and Family Agency. The Gardai (Police) have reported that they must go to the High Court to get permission to investigate Child Abuse case, this is absurd, all they need to do is to prosecute social workers who know of a crime but have not reported it. Without consequences, nothing changes.
Every day on Facebook I see pictures of babies and children and it brings me great joy to know that in some small way, I had a part in them being raised by their parents. These are mostly children who were in “Care” or would have been placed in “Care” but are being raised at home as Nature intended.
One such case is a couple I met while campaigning against the Children’s “Rights” Referendum in Ireland. I met “Holly & Ben” outside the Dail (Irish Parliament) after coming from a press conference. I took their contact details and put them in touch with colleagues who helped them regain custody of their 2 children from “Care”. In the UK, their daughter was forcibly adopted and they moved to Ireland. On the basis of nothing more than they had previously lost a child to Forced Adoption, the Child & Family Agency removed their 2 children. In the UK, their daughter was adopted on the basis of a flawed report of a Psychologist, a “Whore of the Court”. I recommended a psychologist who is extremely qualified and capable, he gave them a very favorable report. The mother told me; “He was so thorough that if he had decided that I should not raise children, I would have believed him”. Her daughter was Forcibly Adopted at a time when Local Authorities met Adoption Targets, they were paid huge bonuses by the UK Government. While targets still exist, the bonuses have dried up, but the LA’s are happy to take as many children as they can for Forced Adoption, often with disastrous results.
With their first two children in Ireland, “Holly & Ben” didn’t get to see all the little “Milestones” that babies go through, crawling, eating solid food, standing, the first teeth, the first haircut, the tummy aches, and all the little joys that parents experience, instead a Foster “Carer” witnessed all these events. They were robbed of these joyous events because of a lying, thieving “Whore of the Court” sold his/her soul to the highest bidder, and the highest bidder is never going to be the parent as they could not afford their fees. They were robbed again by Irish Social Services on nothing more than they “May” (or equally may not) be a risk to their children. As my esteemed colleague, Ian Josephs would say; “This is Punishment Without Crime”.
After their children were returned, “Holly” became pregnant again, but social workers were out of the picture this time, not having a moral or legal leg to stand on. Almost daily, I see pictures of the new baby’s milestone, he’s crawling and propping himself up to stand. This is the first time these parents have experienced all the joys of parenthood.
I was once told by a wise man that I should pursue Happiness, I have found however that Happiness is fleeting, but Joy lasts forever. I share in the joy of these parents because I played a small part in helping them get their children home. All I did was introduce them to others and let them know they were not alone in this fight. I am not a super-hero and what I did was not a super-heroic act, anyone who cares enough about children can do the same thing with little effort. People don’t want advice, they want a listening ear so that they hear the words come out of their own mouth, so they will hear for themselves if their words sound reasonable. I have always said, I don’t give advice, I give people options, options they may never have thought of or introduce them to others to give them more options. The point I am trying to make is that anyone could do what I do and have done and make a difference in peoples lives. The benefit of helping others is the joy it brings to you. I would caution people, however, to be careful not to set yourself up as a self-appointed hero. There is no more heroic act than to save a child, but when you look at this case, many self-appointed “Heroes”, robbed these parents of parenthood, but more importantly, robbed 3 children of their parents based on nothing more than suspicion. Forget about who has the “Moral High Ground”, remember that the people who take children, usually believe they are doing the right thing because they wrongly believe the system works.
In another case from the UK, “Stella”, a young woman has had 5 children removed and 3 of them Forcibly Adopted. She fled to Ireland and fought a valiant battle but Irish Authorities were only too willing to serve their comrades in the UK and the Irish born baby was deported to the UK for adoption. A few years ago she moved to another EU country and now has 2 beautiful babies and posts on Facebook with updates on every milestone. All this young woman ever wanted was a family of her own, but she lost 5 of her children to a cruel and incompetent system, worse yet, her children lost a fit and capable Mother.
In another case I have assisted a father on, he has not seen his young son in a few years. He has no Skype or phone contact, even though this was mandated by the courts, but not enforced. There is a danger that his son might forget him, and become bonded to the alienating mother, but this father has fought a valiant fight against a very corrupt court system in Slovakia. It would appear that Slovakia has made a National Industry of Slovak women getting pregnant by foreign fathers, absconding to Slovakia, and enforcing Maintenance Payments while alienating their children from their fathers. It wasn’t until I did some research last year that I discovered the enormity of the problem. My advice to men would be never to sleep with a Slovak woman.
The fathers get up early every Saturday morning and attempt a Skype call with his son. The mother answers but the child is never present and the father stares at a blank screen for 30 minutes and records each episode (of nothing) in the hope that he might catch a glimpse of his son at the corner of the screen.
I am very happy to announce, however, that a few months ago this father had another son with his lovely partner with whom he lives. I am overjoyed to see almost daily posts of all the little milestones that mommy and daddy post and maybe soon the new baby will get valuable life-lessons on how to be a boy and a man from his dad. At the same time, I grieve for the other son in Slovakia who is growing up without the benefit of a father, and who will likely as time passes, come to hate his mother for denying him a father. We could predict with scientific certainty that this boy will have a poorer outcome in life, but it won’t be because of the Father, who has gone above and beyond what is expected of him.
There are many other cases I could mention, I see regular posts and visit homes of friends whom I helped. I see children who are now adults and have overcome the trauma of “Care” in some cases, and going on to adulthood and making a life for themselves. I also spend time thinking about the many friends I have lost to suicide because their pain was so great. I recently lost a young mother of 4 lovely children to suicide, she grew up in the “Care” System and suffered unbearable trauma as a result. I wrote about her case also in the book.
Every day I see posts on Facebook from these people, it’s not hard to see that they are good people and excellent parents. By raising their children properly, they make a mockery of the faux “Science” of Sociology, and the Secret Courts which allows this madness of removing children from fit parents. They are living proof that social workers are no more capable of determining who is a fit parent and who is a risk, the Baby P Fiasco should have taught us this. In the Baby P case he was visited 60 times by “Professionals” but nobody found the need to remove him. When he died he had a fractured spine and many life-threatening injuries. The learning from this case was to take every child for the smallest of suspicions. The adage “Damned if we do and damned if we don’t” was dreamed up by a PR Guru who was later jailed for sexual assault. The reality is that social workers are only damned when they make horrific mistakes, but the public will never hear a fraction of those cases because people could be jailed, even when the child died, for saying “anything to anybody” as prescribed by the In Camera Rule.
I have no tolerance for drug and alcohol addiction, I have seen too many lives destroyed by it. I have always said that babies born as addicts should absolutely be removed and adopted, even forcibly. I was wrong. I am well aware that Addiction is an Illness and that there is no addiction without pain, but I was proven wrong by a recent study on Cocaine which proves that babies born to cocaine-addicts do better in terms of Outcomes if left with their mothers. Since the “Care” System pretends to keep children safe, but doesn’t in most cases, it is certainly a damning indictment that the offspring of drug addicts fare better than children placed in “Care”.
I have to wonder sometimes; if people suffering from some kind of collective mental illness? We know the Child “Protection” System is detrimental to the well-being and life-outcomes for the child, we know that removing a child from a parent, fit or otherwise, is tantamount to Child Abuse, and we know this beyond all scientific doubt, so why are we so addicted to removing children from their parents?I wrote about these topics in great detail in the book, and I won’t repeat myself here, but I am still struggling with the concept myself. Perhaps what I uncovered is the fact that, as humans, we are not yet at a stage of human development where our emotions can over-rule our logical brain and accept irrefutable scientific evidence, that, in our haste to save children, we are actually abusing them. Perhaps someday a team of scientists will discover a cure for Child “Protection”, but in the meantime, we all need to do what we can to help the victims of this system. You don’t need to be a super-hero, just listen to people. The main reason this system continues to harm children is because the Public is not aware of the extent of the problems with Child “Protection”, and by standing back and doing nothing, we become part of the problem ourselves. If all the victims of this system got together, parents and children alike, the system would end over-night.
The National Rifle Association believe the common denominator in School Shootings is Ritalin and Psychotropic Drugs, they are not wrong, but Dr. Farrell looks far deeper into it and finds the reason that the shooters are on Ritalin to begin with, Father Absent Homes.
I supported Feminism and Women’s Rights for many years, but in the 1980’s I saw the emergence of Radical Feminism. I believe we have surpassed Women’s Rights and now it’s time to even out the playing field and start concentrating on boys, who will, of course, grow into men. Just as “Affirmative Action” was necessary at the start to allow African Americans to compete in universities and the workplace, it went far too far in discriminating against Whites. The result of this experiment is that people who were not qualified entered universities and workplaces and couldn’t cope with their new “Equality”. This was the wrong approach. The over-compensation for Black and Hispanic adults was misguided in hindsight. They should have been concentrating on Black Children instead to help them qualify to compete on a level playing field. You cant have Equality without first having Equity.
History should be teaching us that “Affirmative Action” is the wrong approach. By the time a damaged child reaches adulthood, it becomes far more difficult to fix the person. The same story with Women’s Rights, we have gone overboard at this point. If there are fewer women in politics, it is probably because women don’t want the job. Gender Quotas are wrong, employers need to hire based on ability and performance. We are now seeing a situation where women graduates are outnumbering men in professions previously dominated by men. If we want Equality, why should a man need a higher Grade Point Average than a woman for college admission? This is not Equality or Equity. To compound these issues we also have to deal with Political Correctness and a generation who grew up being they were told by their parents that they were “Special” and didn’t need to compete. We have mothers calling their sons manager and complaining. We have new terms like Toxic Masculinity but thanks to Dr. Farrell, we can now see the problem all along was Lack of Masculinity, as in Father-Absent Homes. A boy raised by a “Single” Mother goes to school and there is an 80% chance his teacher will also be female, who is going to teach this boy to be a man? I say “Single” Mother because I believe that they do not exist, it took a male and female to produce that child and that child has a right to both parents. No, you are not a “Single Mother”, you are a “Single Woman” because your child also has a father.
Listening to Dr. Farrell on the interview, I feel he may be missing part of the equation. I have said for years that fathers should not say; “I can’t see my children”, they should instead say; “My child’s Human Rights to have access to both parents is being denied”. It’s the same argument, but in the latter, you are reporting a case of Child Abuse. The other missing equation is the fact that Sociology has caused these crises by devaluing the Family, and especially professing that fathers are superfluous to the process of raising a child. I wrote in the book that Sociology believes that;
“Family is an outdated concept with its vestiges in our tribal roots.”
Let me be clear. A child needs both parents. There are certain things that girls or boys can only learn from their mothers and not their father, or vice-versa. But we know this as Human Beings, you don’t need a degree in Psychology or Sociology to know that children do better with both a mother and father, your instinct should tell you this. Some of you might say; “what about same-sex parents”? There isn’t sufficient evidence to state that children raised by same-sex parents do better or worse, primarily because there are not enough cases of children raised by same-sex parents to arrive at a scientific conclusion one way or the other. Data is only now becoming available but it doesn’t look good for children raised by same-sex parents. What is very clear is that children raised by both parents do better in terms of Outcomes and several other indicators.
We are paying a huge premium as a society for children abused by courts, judges, lawyers, mothers, fathers and especially social workers. To deny a child the right to a parent is child abuse, but unfortunately not illegal in many places. I hope Dr. Farrell gets behind the Parental Alienation movement and I hope he continues his excellent work.
63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (US Dept. Of Health/Census) – 5 times the average.
90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average.
85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. (Center for Disease Control)
80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes –14 times the average. (Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26)
71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average. (National Principals Association Report)
Father Factor in Education – Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of school.
Children with Fathers who are involved are 40% less likely to repeat a grade in school.
Children with Fathers who are involved are 70% less likely to drop out of school.
Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to get A’s in school.
Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to enjoy school and engage in extracurricular activities.
75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes – 10 times the average.
Father Factor in Drug and Alcohol Abuse – Researchers at Columbia University found that children living in two-parent household with a poor relationship with their father are 68% more likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs compared to all teens in two-parent households. Teens in single mother households are at a 30% higher risk than those in two-parent households.
70% of youths in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average. (U.S. Dept. of Justice, Sept. 1988)
85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. (Fulton Co. Georgia, Texas Dept. of Correction)
Father Factor in Incarceration – Even after controlling for income, youths in father-absent households still had significantly higher odds of incarceration than those in mother-father families. Youths who never had a father in the household experienced the highest odds. A 2002 Department of Justice survey of 7,000 inmates revealed that 39% of jail inmates lived in mother-only households. Approximately forty-six percent of jail inmates in 2002 had a previously incarcerated family member. One-fifth experienced a father in prison or jail.
Father Factor in Crime – A study of 109 juvenile offenders indicated that family structure significantly predicts delinquency. Adolescents, particularly boys, in single-parent families were at higher risk of status, property and person delinquencies. Moreover, students attending schools with a high proportion of children of single parents are also at risk. A study of 13,986 women in prison showed that more than half grew up without their father. Forty-two percent grew up in a single-mother household and sixteen percent lived with neither parent
Father Factor in Child Abuse – Compared to living with both parents, living in a single-parent home doubles the risk that a child will suffer physical, emotional, or educational neglect. The overall rate of child abuse and neglect in single-parent households is 27.3 children per 1,000, whereas the rate of overall maltreatment in two-parent households is 15.5 per 1,000.
Daughters of single parents without a Father involved are 53% more likely to marry as teenagers, 711% more likely to have children as teenagers, 164% more likely to have a pre-marital birth and 92% more likely to get divorced themselves.
Adolescent girls raised in a 2 parent home with involved Fathers are significantly less likely to be sexually active than girls raised without involved Fathers.
43% of US children live without their father [US Department of Census]
90% of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census]
80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes. [Criminal Justice & Behaviour, Vol 14, pp. 403-26, 1978]
71% of pregnant teenagers lack a father. [U.S. Department of Health and Human Services press release, Friday, March 26, 1999]
63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census]
85% of children who exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes. [Center for Disease Control]
90% of adolescent repeat arsonists live with only their mother. [Wray Herbert, “Dousing the Kindlers,” Psychology Today, January, 1985, p. 28]
71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. [National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools]
75% of adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes. [Rainbows f for all God’s Children]
70% of juveniles in state operated institutions have no father. [US Department of Justice, Special Report, Sept. 1988]
85% of youths in prisons grew up in a fatherless home. [Fulton County Georgia jail populations, Texas Department of Corrections, 1992]
Fatherless boys and girls are: twice as likely to drop out of high school; twice as likely to end up in jail; four times more likely to need help for emotional or behavioral problems. [US D.H.H.S. news release, March 26, 1999]
Census Fatherhood Statistics
64.3 million: Estimated number of fathers across the nation
26.5 million: Number of fathers who are part of married-couple families with their own children under the age of 18.
Among these fathers –
22 percent are raising three or more of their own children under 18 years old (among married-couple family households only).
2 percent live in the home of a relative or a non-relative.
2.5 million: Number of single fathers, up from 400,000 in 1970. Currently, among single parents living with their children, 18 percent are men.
Among these fathers –
8 percent are raising three or more of their own children under 18 years old.
42 percent are divorced, 38 percent have never married, 16 percent are separated and 4 percent are widowed. (The percentages of those divorced and never married are not significantly different from one another.)
16 percent live in the home of a relative or a non-relative.
27 percent have an annual family income of $50,000 or more.
85 percent: Among the 30.2 million fathers living with children younger than 18, the percentage who lived with their biological children only.
11 percent lived with step-children
4 percent with adopted children
< 1 percent with foster children
Recent policies encourage the development of programs designed to improve the economic status of low-income nonresident fathers and the financial and emotional support provided to their children. This brief provides ten key lessons from several important early responsible fatherhood initiatives that were developed and implemented during the 1990s and early 2000s. Formal evaluations of these earlier fatherhood efforts have been completed making this an opportune time to step back and assess what has been learned and how to build on the early programs’ successes and challenges.While the following statistics are formidable, the Responsible Fatherhood research literature generally supports the claim that a loving and nurturing father improves outcomes for children, families and communities.
Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy and pro-social behavior, and avoid high-risk behaviors such as drug use, truancy, and criminal activity compared to children who have uninvolved fathers.
Studies on parent-child relationships and child wellbeing show that father love is an important factor in predicting the social, emotional, and cognitive development and functioning of children and young adults.
24 million children (34 percent) live absent their biological father.
Nearly 20 million children (27 percent) live in single-parent homes.
43 percent of first marriages dissolve within fifteen years; about 60 percent of divorcing couples have children; and approximately one million children each year experience the divorce of their parents.
Fathers who live with their children are more likely to have a close, enduring relationship with their children than those who do not.
Compared to children born within marriage, children born to cohabiting parents are three times as likely to experience father absence, and children born to unmarried, non-cohabiting parents are four times as likely to live in a father-absent home.
About 40 percent of children in father-absent homes have not seen their father at all during the past year; 26 percent of absent fathers live in a different state than their children; and 50 percent of children living absent their father have never set foot in their father’s home.
Children who live absent their biological fathers are, on average, at least two to three times more likely to be poor, to use drugs, to experience educational, health, emotional and behavioral problems, to be victims of child abuse, and to engage in criminal behavior than their peers who live with their married, biological (or adoptive) parents.
From 1995 to 2000, the proportion of children living in single-parent homes slightly declined, while the proportion of children living with two married parents remained stable.